So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I can't put those talents on a resume
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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