At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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