I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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