drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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