my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
