I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
