Me too!
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
