it hurts more in the daytime
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
