you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
