what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
