But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
