No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
