The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
how drunk are you?
Several
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
