you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
