and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
