And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
