It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
