There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
