Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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