God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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