It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
