Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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