I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
