whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Randomize
