She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
