I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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