yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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