I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
