did you get engaged???
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
id be glad to
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
