You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
