you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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