I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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