Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
