you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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