O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
