Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize