Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
