i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
