have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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