someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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