He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
my sisters under your porch take her home
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
