thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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