8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
