Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize