some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
They are going to name an STD after you.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
