make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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