She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
