Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
It's Friday. Sex?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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