I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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