sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
