Do vagina's smell?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
